The Con is On

The key to being a good con-artist is convincing your target to believe in something for nothing. Getting him to look one way while you take him in the other way. It is your swagger that makes you believe that they have it coming to them because they are stupid.  The key to a good con is misdirection, convincing that person to take money out of their bank account, to borrow, steal or even embezzle in hopes of a big payday.

This world is made up of two different kinds of people. There are the givers and there are the takers. Both are very easily recognized by their habits. There are those people who work, and there are those who get a paycheck. Some people will go out of their way to help someone else, while others will stand around to be waited on. I see it in every walk of life.

Stop deceiving yourselves. If you think you are wise by this world’s standards, you need to become a fool to be truly wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say,

“He traps the wise
in the snare of their own cleverness.”

And again,

“The LORD knows the thoughts of the wise;
he knows they are worthless.” 1 Corinthians 3:18-20 NLT

Which one are you? If you hesitated to answer that question, you are a taker, because we givers know immediately who we are. We don’t have to think about it for a second. If you takers are still thinking about it let me help clear up your mind. If you  work from the time you get up in the morning until the time you go to bed at night.  If you find yourself in a daily routine of cleaning, organizing and waiting on others hand and foot you are a giver.

If you are constantly trying to manipulate someone into doing something or buying something for you, you are a taker. When someone does something for you out of kindness or love you immediately think you took it from them and give yourself the credit for it.   Your problem is you are never satisfied. You want things done for you when you want them done.  When you do give something to someone it is only because you are expecting more in return.

If you are a giver and have not accepted Christ as your Savior I urge you to do so immediately. Christianity is the place where givers belong. You are an absolute natural and will fall into fellowship with everyone you meet. Christians take care of one another and we endeavor to meet one another’s needs. When you accept Christ as your Savior you enter into a group of people who have pledged to deny their self –  interest in order to follow the Greatest Giver of them all. Some of the most wonderful people on this earth were givers prior to becoming a Christian, and God will bless your life beyond your belief.

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, forGod loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:7-8 ESV

As you can tell by the title of this piece we are not here to talk about givers. May God bless you and all givers are dismissed. We are here to talk about you and me.

People are not born  con artists. It is a defense mechanism caused by broken relationships. It is a response to the many times that people manipulated their heart or soul to the others person advantage. Some of us are manipulated so many times we give up and start looking out for number one. A good example of a destructive relationship is the children of drug addicts and alcoholics. The kids have been lied to and disappointed so many times that they grow up living a con.  They have been taken into a lie so many times that it is a natural reaction for them to take others. We all have the same characteristics. We lie or tell half truths. Any relationship we are in, we are constantly trying to manipulate an advantage over the other person. We are constantly trying to get something from the other person so, not if, but when the relationship fails we will feel like we have somehow won.  This is a classic self – destructive personality that generally leads to drug use and alcoholism, and starts the cycle all over again.

The root of our problem is trust. Trust is the expectation that you can rely on other people.  A bond that is developed over time where 2 or more people have a consistency to show trustworthiness. It is a very fragile unspoken agreement that can be damaged by unreliable actions. If you are not dependable, honest and display integrity no one will be willing to invest the time and energy into building a relationship with you.

One of the first steps to building trust is to be trustworthy yourself. If you have not lived in a  trustworthy environment  you need to look towards a resource you know and can depend on. For me that is the Bible. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5 NKJV I worked and toiled for years trying to make something of myself for myself, I never amounted to a hill of beans.  It seemed like the harder I tried the more things went wrong. I, too, was a taker, a con man who believed the only way I could get ahead is to take advantage of the other person. I continued on this path until November 8, 1997 I was at the point of being so feed up with my life I couldn’t take it anymore. I got down on my knees and cried out to God for help. Little did I realize that He had changed me the instant  I prayed to Him on the first night. He had given me a new nature that through prayer and Bible study would supersede the old nature I possessed. As time went on He slowly but surely started changing me. I started noticing changes in my behavior, particularly the way I treated other people.

Trust is exactly the way you get started with the Bible. The Word of God is a living organism, and if you don’t trust the words and believe in what the Bible says, it somehow hides all of it’s inner secrets. I know people with doctorates in theology who cannot understand basic Biblical principles simply because they don’t trust in God.

They know not, nor do they discern, for he has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, and their hearts, so that they cannot understand. Isaiah 44:18 ESV

They approach the Bible just like they would any other ordinary book and they get absolutely nothing out of it. The Bible says, “ trust is by hearing the Word of God through faith.” It teaches us to be honest with other people and to follow through with our promises. It is important for us to communicate how we feel with each other so there are no misunderstandings. Finally we should accept one another for who we are, and if there is any changing to be done in a person, let God do it.

The human lie detector test is used by police detectives when interviewing suspected perpetrators and victims alike. Listed below are some of the basics to look for when a person is lying. This basic knowledge can help you from becoming a victim.

1.) Their physical expression will be stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movements will be toward their body. The liar takes up less space.

2.) A person who is lying will avoid eye contact.

3.) A  person lying will touch their face, throat or mouth. Touching or scratching their nose or behind their ear. They will not likely touch their hand flat up against their chest or heart.

4.) Timing is off between  gestures, emotions and words. Someone might say, “I love you” and then smile after making the statement, rather than at the same time.

5.) Gestures or emotions will not match the words. Someone might be frowning while they say, “I love you.”

6.) Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions.

7.)  A guilty person goes on the defensive.

8.) A liar is uncomfortable facing their accuser. They may turn their head or body away.

9.) A liar might unconsciously place objects between you and him.

10.) A liar will use words to make an answer a question.

One of the hardest habits to break is lying. Now even though I have stopped trying to con people, I still tell lies. If I didn’t admit this to you I would be lying. I make sure the lies I tell are not destructive to others or to myself.  I will generally tell a white lie as to my location or time of arrival simply because there is such a demand on my time.

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.  Therefore do not become partners with them; Ephesians 5:6-7 ESV

People play roles and other people accept them , not for who they are, but by the role they play. This is extremely dangerous for our emotional well being. When we build a relationship with people we play roles with, we are in jeopardy of  losing their friendship if they ever change. You will wake up one day wondering, “ Who am I.”   The biggest problem with lying is where we tell so many lies we begin to believe them ourselves and that is what a con artist is, “ Someone who believes their own lies.” This causes us to lose respect for who we really are and start believing we are something that we are not.  When you start believing your own lies, you create an identity that isn’t really you. Then you base decisions on the identity you have created.  One day you wake up beside a person who you don’t have anything in common with. You go to a job you hate because your entire life is a con.

When I decided to stop lying to people I also decided to stop doing what I call,  “adult things” because they separate me from the Holy Spirit of God. Drugs, alcohol and sex out of wedlock destroy our spiritual being.

And while staying with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, “you heard from me; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.” Acts 1:4-5 ESV

We have a helpmate who was given to us by our Heavenly Father to guide us and counsel us toward decisions that are beneficial to our well being. Lying and adult things blocks His advise and leaves us in this world all alone.

If you have not accepted the truth that is the Word of God then you are dead in your trespasses and sins. As long as you continue to go through this life living by your own will, you will be deprived of the blessings God wishes to bestow upon you.  I have to tell you it is a forgotten lifestyle. There is so much going on in this world that can take us away from the true building blocks of life. Most people on this earth believe a lie because they are involved in sin one way or the other.  Sin clouds your vision to see the truth and it separates us from God.

You don’t have to go on this way. There is an avenue for you to break away from the control sin has on your life. That avenue is prayer.